One of the most difficult parts of social interaction while going through depression is dealing with other people. Part of being able to do this is understanding where they are coming from. Expecting them to understand where you are coming from is a impossibility.
I have had the most strenuous interactions with older people. Especially those who are parents. Some feel you are just being a moody brat and a little bit of tough love will cure it. Most don’t want to hear about your experience. I have found moms use outside experiences and feel they know a lot about the illness through what they have read or seen from other people They want to tell you about your illness and how to cope with it.
Understand they are coming at this from the perspective they are your elder and supposed to be the people to go to to provide answers. They want to comfort you with their knowledge but their lack of experience makes them feel a bit helpless and frazzled. They are trying to be strong and sympathetic.
I have found the best way to cope with this is to understand they are doing their best to help solve the problem. Respect their efforts and never divulge information that their solutions could result in hurt feelings. Unless they are taking the time to listen and understand keeping your sensitive inner most workings private is the best way to protect your self.
There are two kinds of people with depression. There is the kind that is steadily working through it. They are not going to readily reach out to help every person in the same situation. They know they must cope with their burdens first and then reach out to help others when they are stronger. Then there is the other type who can be very detrimental. This type has taken the illness on as a badge of honor. They are out to help but mostly they want to share their burdens with you. Once shared any optimism will be shot down and they will carry your burdens as their own never hoping to overcome theirs.
The key to coping with people is this. Do not make a impermeable shell that no one can enter but be very cautious with what you let out to be seen. People are like chickens in a coop. They see a lose feather and they will peck until you are a bloody mess. There are sensitive souls out there though. They are quiet and kind and lead with out yelling. These are the ones you can open to. They will extend kindness and beauty into your life.
Finding your own inner strength helps. Find confidence through what you are good at. Maybe it is photography or working out. Maybe you are really great at knitting. Use these things as your therapy verses turning to others for help.
Through all of this I had a fantastic supportive loving husband but despite all of his wonderful efforts I had to find peace with in my self in order to find a way to cope with my feelings. One must learn to love and forgive them selves it cannot be given by another. Others can only nurture you and protect you while you heal. Learning to see people and their intentions quickly will be a strong asset. Look for the quiet gentile types who persevere in their own struggles always with a smile and always with love.
