A Wandering Soul

When fighting depression it is ok to give yourself pleasant indulgences but it is important to make sure they are nothing that will harm you in the long run or make you feel bad after.

Things I have learned to avoid are spending too much money, decadent foods, drinking or anything that will lead to long term problems I will have to dig my self out of later.

Depression’s strongest weapon is isolating you so it can do its worst. Sometimes the door to your room becomes comforting in its limiting nature but you are stuck inside the room with the depression. Step outside. Go to the park or grab a cup of coffee somewhere. You will feel scared at first and really sad but as you walk take notice of pretty things on the way. Interesting architecture, pretty leaves, nice flower pots.

The internet isn’t always a good escape. The internet is unpredictable. If you are like me your brain doesn’t filter things as well as a normal person’s. Having obsessive thoughts are really hard to avoid and in half a second an image can pop up you can’t get out of your head and it will trigger more bad thoughts. A lot of my friends don’t struggle with mental illness and are into morbid or violent television shows. They don’t mind drama in their lives and tend to attract it. You can’t go wrong in nature. Even death and decay can be beautiful there. Fungus on old stumps or beautiful sea shells. The violence of a thunderstorm wont leave you feeling dark and angry.

When I was at my worst I had safe places I would go. The park, the pet store, the woods. I found avoiding interaction with people in these moments were best. Use the time to meditate. If you can’t get out of the house you can escape the door of your room by going to the kitchen and making something yummy. You can doodle even if you are not an artist. People say journaling is good but when I do this I try to write about the good things that happened in the day instead of rehashing what is bothering me.

This week I was having a bit of a hard time with anger. A friend hasn’t been the greatest and I am stressed about the amount of hours my husband has had to work to finish a project. I found discussing these things with him helped. He has a very logical brain. Finding a friend who is logical and deals with problems rationally helps a lot. Some friends like to get worked up into a dramatic lather making the situation much worse. These are not the people you should be seeking when upset.

If there is no one to talk to you can try handling the problem with logic on your own. I have really improved these skills over the years. Don’t get upset about things that didn’t happen. Trying to guess why someone is acting the way they do never works. I have found a lot of people are a bit careless and have no idea they are causing you to be upset. They are just caught up in what ever they are doing that week. If you are having a bad week its not because the cosmos are plotting against you. Life is one up and one down right after another. Sometimes the ups last a really long time sometimes the downs do but it will get better if you set your goals to do whatever is in your control to fix it. You have control over what you bring into your life, your positive or negative perspective on things, how you treat other people and who you allow to be part of your life, how you treat yourself,  and where you are physically. Keep the parts of your life that you have control over moving forward and one day you will look up and see you have reached the end of the tunnel and there is light.